For All the Ladies Whose New Year Isn’t off to a Great Start…

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.

1. Allow the anger and sadness to move through you

This isn’t the fun part of processing circumstances out of our control, but leaning into the excruciating discomfort gives our bodies and hearts permission to consciously grieve, instead of suppressing undeniable emotions we inevitably experience as human beings. The more we resist the more things persist!

2. Self-Compassion

Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one or hurting over a broken relationship, cultivating self-compassion for whatever feelings come up instead of judging yourself for them is an invitation for a softening of the heart during a vulnerable time. A simple practice is to find stillness, place your hand on your heart and just breathe. Two go-to mantras you can silently repeat are, “Claire, I love you.  You’re doing great”  or, “Just this” — the latter should remind you that all the mind drama isn’t real, sitting in present awareness is.

3. Talk to a professional

Of course, having trusted sister-friends to lift us up is imperative, but making a commitment to working with a reputable life coach or therapist will not only help heal your past but also will help you get clear on how you want to show up in your present and future. Having a safe and non-judgmental space to unload all that your heavy heart and mind are carrying will free you up for step four!

4. Pick ONE big resolution

You might want to meet The One, go on a big cleanse, build your coaching business, or maybe pursue acting. The best advice is to pick one goal. This isn’t because we’re not capable of managing multiple resolutions, but the likelihood is that we’ll have little movement in all areas because our energy and focus will be scattered.

Choosing multiple areas of growth sets you up for failure. Making it easy to stop working on your body when it feels too hard because you’re finding yourself stressed about work, so all you want to do is go back to an extra glass of cabernet to feel better, this will leave you wondering where your results will come from.

5. Make a Commitment

So, you’ve picked one goal — now what?  Make a list of all the actionable steps you need to bring this New Year’s resolution into fruition!  Notice the resistant thoughts like What’s going to be different about this year if I couldn’t do it last year?”

Our thoughts create our reality. If you decide it’s too hard or you can’t, then you won’t! Our brains are actually more comfortable in the discomfort of struggling financially or being single. It’s what we know, so reaching for the snooze button instead of getting up to work out is much easier to keep repeating.

Re-training the brain to think differently, and therefore feel differently, and then behave differently is going to be a challenge. Remember your desired outcome. How committed are you to making it happen? Your commitment has to be as strong, if not stronger, than your desire! Here’s to making 2019 your best year YET.

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